A Roof of One's Own

We almost bought a house last fall. Something stopped me. Well, many things stopped me, but the thing that bothered me the most was that I couldn't imagine small single homes going up much more in price, and if I was going to pay 400K for something, I wanted it to still be worth 400K in a couple of years. Better yet, I wanted it to be worth more. Worth. That's an interesting word. We all know that the house is not "worth" the 400K in terms of it's bits and pieces. A house gets its "worth" by what people are willing to pay for it. To me, the suburbia houses jam-packed like sardines weren't worth 400K at the time. Beautiful homes, no doubt, but I just couldn't feel comfortable being house poor when I wondered if my "investment" would fail.
Intuition is a great thing. Emotion almost made me buy. Reason kept me away. I don't know if or when that house will ever be "worth" 400K again. Maybe. But for now, the bubble has started to deflate. I won't say "burst" because Ottawa didn't have crazy inflation like vancouver and calgary, but I think the real estate market is feeling the air being let out a tad.

So, now what to do. We are renting a lovely home, and are considering buying it. But have things fallen enough? I don't think so. I don't expect to be able to time perfectly to buy at the bottom, but I sure don't want to buy while it's only halfway down. Who's to know? Experts? Who do you trust? I sure can't rely on news items with studies funded by those with real estate interests. Politicians? Nah thanks. So, we just keep watching the market. And the economy. It is also scary to buy right now given that jobs could start being cut to keep companies afloat. We are in some sort of recession. I am not ready to polish off my gun, grow my own food or start hunting squirrels yet, but how far down will the market go?

I have no answers. Just a lot of questions, like everyone else. So, what's a girl to do? Live as simply as possible for now. Ignore the emotion of wanted settle down in my own home and renovate. What point is that settling down if it serves to be a stressor. Perhaps we will experience a shift of consciousness. Maybe people will need to live a little more simply. Maybe people won't feel a need to have posh furnishings and the best of. Maybe people will stop feeling like they have to keep up with the Joneses. Perhaps all the Joneses have is more debt anyway, and you don't want that right now. Maybe there will be an ever so slight shift away from being a materialisitic consumer society. Perhaps we will have to take more pride in our abilities, talents, and skill than in the shine of our granite countertops. Maybe we will become better family members.

Perhaps? I dunno. Maybe we will all come out on the other side of this as better individuals. Maybe we all need this. Maybe the universe does.

-jl

What's Happening to Me?

I have been feeling odd lately.

Dissatisfied. 

But not dissatisfied with my body, or my mind, or my life as a whole. 

I am dissatisfied with SHOPPING!

Yes, after years of being a very satisfied consumer and a firm believer in the powers of retail therapy, shopping no longer does it for me. Not only does shopping not do anything for me, it actually annoys me.

Now, this is a very new and scary feeling for me and it could change as soon as I get enough sleep (when cold season is over), but there it is. 

Perhaps it is the flailing economy making me start to pay attention. Perhaps it is because I finally have a budget and track where my hard earned dollars go. But ya know, I think it just might be a little more.  

-jl

The Deep End

My blog is pretty light for the most part.
I don't write a great deal about angst or spend much time pondering the meaning of life in the blogosphere. Some might even consider me shallow as I don't tend to spend a lot of time in the deep end of life. I have my moments. I question a lot of things, but I am not much of a dweller. If I don't like something, I fix it. There are some things that linger, but for the most part I do what I need to do to ensure a happy healthy life, given how short it is.

I wonder sometimes if I am not shallow. I read about friends struggling on a daily basis with personal identity and travelling to the ends of the earth to learn more about themselves. I read "Eat, Love, Pray" and while I enjoyed the descriptions of the travels I found myself increasingly annoyed at Elizabeth and her self-absorbed whining. I couldn't finish it. I felt like yelling "Dear god woman, suck it up!" And the idea of going off to "find oneself" seemed a little disingenuous given she had a guaranteed book deal out of doing this for a year and a laid out plan of 3 locations that would lend to a good book more than self-learning. I dunno....I just couldn't get on board. I started out liking it a lot, but I think I just enjoyed the idea of eating a ton of food in Italy. :)

People, women especially, seem to be in a constant mode of self-improvement. It is trendy right now. I don't want to stay stagnant, I learn about myself on a daily basis in regular old day-to-day tasks and living. I grow. I change. But I am ok with who I am. There are things I would like to learn, but if it doesn't happen, I am not going to think less of myself. I wonder why so many women feel inadequate? My life is far from perfect. My body is far from perfect. My mind could hold more information. My spirituality could benefit from some growth....but I feel good enough even while working on some of these things. I don't feel tortured and on hold until I achieve the ultimate balance of goodness. Perhaps I just live a life of low-expectation?

I will never be the smartest woman in the room. I will never be the most enlightened woman in the room. I will never be the most beautiful woman in the room. And I won't likely inspire you to live a better life. But I am the woman in the room comfortable in my own skin. I am the woman in the room who you won't be intimidated to talk to. I am the woman in the room who you won't need to coddle because my self-confidence is so shaky. I am just me. And I am ok with that. Shallow? Nah. Deep? Not entirely. I think I just float around somewhere in the middle, and that's a lovely place to hang out.

Jennie's Best of Beauty - Nov '08

I am a cosmetics junkie. But I am a frugal, and smart cosmetics collector, and I review all purchases before bringing them home. This is especially important since I buy a lot of products at the drugstore rather than at a department store, so I buy a lot of products without testing them.
Drugstore? Heck you say!? One of the biggest beauty myths is that department store brands are superior to drugstore brands. In fact, many department store brands are owned by companies who also own drugstore brands, and guess what? The ingredients are often identical, but with flashier packaging and a price tag that will set you back that new pair of shoes you have been eyeing. Having said that, there are some fabulous beauty finds on the high price end, and some real crappy ones at the drugstore that aren't worth a dime. Here's a breakdown of my current favorites.

Best Foundation
Cover Girl Trublend. LOVE LOVE LOVE this product. It is easy to blend, has several natural colors, and has a light to medium coverage. Best of all, it comes it at about $10. Be careful chosing shades. A couple of them are orangy. No one has naturally orange skin. I use #2, Creamy Natural.

Best Concealer
Maybelline Mineral Power Liquid Concealer. Very good wand-type concealer. I love it around my eyes, and it doesn't slip into the creases to highlight creases. It stays put. Again, it cost less than $10.

Best Eyeshadow
Great eyeshadow is hard to find. The older we get, the more we need to avoid shimmer and sparkle. Nothing says "Look at my lines and creases!" like shimmer settling into wrinkles. Having said that, I do like a tiny bit of shimmer on occasion, but I use it on the brow bone in a the form of a light eyeshadow color as a highlight. It makes the brow bone pop, and visually increases the distance between your brows and your eyes, which makes you look more rested and younger. Yay! You want something silky with enough pigment to allow you to layer on color.

My favs are:

• M.A.C. Eyeshadows. I love em. They are like velvet. At $16 per single, they aren't cheap, so make sure you have someone at the M.A.C. counter help you pick out some good neutrals. On the plus side, these last forever, and hardly crease, even after a 12 hr day.
• Quo Eyeshadow. Superb eyeshadow. The texture is heavenly and the price is right. $19 for a quad (4 coordinating colors).
  

Best Cream shadow/liner
Using creamy eye color is new for me. I have always steered clear due to fear of creasing. I am not a convert. Creamy eye colors and liners and perfect to using under powder eyeshadow, to help intensify color and set it. Since I use powder as eyeliner, I find this to be an invaluable tool.

My favs:

• M.A.C. Paints - I use a color called "Stilife". It is a golden beige with a slight shimmer. I apply it with my finger from lash line to brow bone. It serves as an excellent base for the rest of my shadow, and it adds a slight shimmer to the brow bone area. It costs about $18 but one small tubes lasts me a year.
  
• Paula's Choice Gel Liner. This product ROCKS! It is the best eye liner ever. It doesn't budge. Unfortunately, it is mail order only.
  
• Smashbox Cream Liner. I find this to be a little too greasy to be a good liner. It fades and slides after a while. However, it is a great base for powder eyeshadow on the upper lid when doing smokey eyes, as seen here: http://www.smashbox.com/classic_smoky_eye. Smashbox is available at Shoppers Drug Mart but is on par with M.A.C. prices. This product costs about $20. The color LAVA is awesome for smokey eyes.
  

Best Brow Pencil
My brows are kinda sparse, so I need to fill them in. I like a pencil because I find powders messy. I am currently using Maybelline's Define-A-Brow in blonde, and I love it. It is cheap! About $7.

Best Mascara
There are a lot of great mascaras out there, and the new ones with the rubber cone shaped bristles are quite good. I find that Cover Girl is doing a great job with these, and you can't go wrong with Lash Exact and Lash Blast. Last Blast does have a bigger brush so it takes some getting used to. Both are under $10.

Best Lip Gloss
For my money, nothing beats M.A.C. in this catagory. Lipglass is fabulous, but sticky. I put up with the stickiness because it means the color stays on for hours on end. It costs about $16. the Viva Glam release every year is always a great option for many skin tones. It is usually on the nude end with some pink or gold highlights.
On the low end, Rimmel Vinyl is also a very good, non-sticky lip gloss, and is under $10.

Best Longwear Lipstick
I find these tough for everyday use, as they are drying, but they are great for evenings out. They are usually double sided. One side has a liquid color with a brush or sponge wand applicator. The other side contains a high moisture topcoat that must be reapplied at least hourly, lest you want your lips to resemble a raisin.
I currently using Maybelline Superstay, and find it long lasting and less drying than some alternatives.

Best Cleanser
Cleansers wash down the drain. They don't leave behind special vitamins and age fighting chemicals. Their main purpose is to remove makeup and dirt. This means you don't need to break the bank. My favorite is an old standby, Cetaphil. It does a decent job of removing even heavy eye makeup, and doesn't leave my skin feeling tight and dry. Best of all, at about $16 for a big bottle, you will have money left over for those shoes. Lately, I have been buying the grocery store brand version for $10 and the ingredients are identical.

Best Moisturizer for Day
By far, my favorite is Oil of Olay Regenerist with SPF 15. It doesn't leave my skin greasy. It is a great base for my foundation. And it has sunscreen. Win win win. It is also under $20.

Best Moisturizer for Nighttime
At night, you can go with a heavier moisturizer, and one that has a nice AHA or BHA for exfoliation. I swear by Neutrogena Healthy Skin Face Lotion with AHA. Again, for under $20 you get a kick-ass moisturizer with ingredients often reserved for high end products. The amount of alpha-hydroxy acids in this lotion help keep skin clear from breakouts, but is gentle enough to use daily.

Best Eyecream
Why bother? The skin around your eyes may be more delicate, but it has the same requirements as the skin on the rest of your face. Some people feel better for using eye creams, and there are some good products out there, but you don't need to spend 10x the price of a good all over facial moisturizer. Again, save your makeup $$ for some nice M.A.C. eyeshadows, and some killer brushes....

...speaking of brushes

Best Brushes
M.A.C. on the high end
Quo on the low end (very very very good!)
Body Shop for man-made bristles for those who don't want natural hairs.

Nurturing Jennie

Now that I am settling into a new groove, a new reality, I am able to give a little more to myself.
My nutrition planning and devotion to physical fitness has returned, as has a better balance.
I am enjoying my weekly yoga class, and am invigorated by my return to "man pushups" and feel myself growing stronger each day.

My next step is nurturing my creative side. Having played with our new kickass DSLR over the last few months, it is time for me to learn more about photography. I am starting simple with an intro class this sunday that involves getting to know my camera better. I can't wait! I am excited by it. I have learned that I have a good eye to capture emotion and personality in my people shots. I want to further that by learning more about composition so that those shots truly come alive. As I learn, I will post my pics here, and hope to see a progressive improvement in quality.

Balance. Nice to feel it. Even if it is short lived :)

-jl