The big number

Why is it that a number can reduce a women's confidence from healthy levels to somewhere in the bottom of her boots?

My name is Jennie, and I am a scale-aholic. It is ridiculous, because I know that the big number doesn't matter as much as the body composition. I am strong and have a lot of muscle. I also know that weighing yourself 3 times a day is a very useless exercise. Why is it that I can't deny the pull of the scale when it is sitting in the bathroom? Why is it that I can be having a good day, feel comfortable in my own skin and clothes, and have that all go down the drain if I step on the scale and see a number I don't like? It is a bit of an obsession I guess. I knew I needed to get a handle on the problem, and asked for intervention. I can't go cold turkey. I asked that the scale be moved to a hiding spot in the basement, only to be brought out once a week for me to a little check-in. Eventually, I hope to be rid of the monkey on my back, until then, I can be found rummaging around the basement searching desperately for the demon in moments of weakness, wearing our my measuring tape, and trying on my pre-preggo jeans 7 times a week.

Note: My alter ego, the healthier, happier version, preaches the importance of not being a slave to the scale, living a healthy life through exercise and clean eating, and enjoying the process of taking care of yourself. Lately, she is present a lot more often than the crazy, obsessed freak.

-jl